Dear worrier,

To be honest at the moment you are getting reet on my nerves! You waltz up here in he morning and notice straight away tha I've squeezed through the leccy fencing onto the good grass. THAT IS NOT COOL!!

Making me come back onto the muddy track with Brack is a rather shite thing to do if I do say so myself. Giving me hay might seem kind to you but as far as I'm concerned IT'S NOT FECKING GOOD ENOUGH! and as for that barley straw shite you can shove it up ur nose!!

I grant you that I like my brekky as dry and as gritty as it was this morning and I love your cuddles and kisses. I also appreciate you buying Brack as he's my Bestest dude ( I do think u need to try much harder and get Malarchy to live with me too please)

Nonetheless I find it utterly DESPICABLE and absolutely ABHORRENT that you send Zoe's mum to my field with a fully charged car battery to attach to MY FENCING!!! I find it DISGUSTING that you and Zoe's mum find it amusing that I zapped my nose twice trying to test the fence and frankly you are disgraceful if you find p,easier in my confusion that the fecking bastard fence is now fully operational.

I know at you have been on a three day course about compassion and shame. YOU MY LOVELY WORRIER SHOULD BE FECKING ASHAMED!!!

hang your head loser

Lots of love

Frank

Xxx